iRegret
by seddielove101
Summary: this is a short story is in the POV of Sam. it's a mix of creddie and seddie. but you MIGHT be surprised of how it turns out! ;
1. Chapter 1

This is a new story requested by WRITE4living. I'm also writing another story called iHave You so please check that out too!(: I'm used to writing in Freddie's POV but this will be Sam's POV, so let's see if I can get into the mind of Sam (; This is kind of a short story but the first chapter will just be Sam's stream of consciousness instead of characters actually talking but please R&R! Enjoy!

~ Chapter 1: Many, Many Regrets

Hey all. The name's Sam. That's it. Just Sam, so don't call me Samantha or I might hurt you. Throughout my life, I have had many many regrets. First of all, I regret not amounting up to my sister Melanie. My mom is rude, obnoxious, aggressive, desperate, greedy, and alone. And I think if I don't watch it, I'll end up just like her. Melanie's the exact opposite of me. She goes to a fancy boarding school, on a scholarship. I go to low-class Ridgeway. She get's prefect grades, I'm a straight D student. She never gets in trouble must I explain my side of that? I always get in trouble. She always has clean hair, new clothes, and clean teeth; well that part is mom's fault for not paying the water bill or getting money to at least give me clothes. Another thing I regret is not being the best friend to Carly, Carly says she could never have a better friend than me, but I think she's just bluffing. We get in too many fights to count for reason I all start, I'm always late to iCarly rehearsal but most of that is mom's fault for making me do things for her… I regret not focusing on school just because it's boring… Wow, I have too many regrets to imagine. If I don't watch it, I will develop a regret that I may not be able to get myself out of.

Okay, here's the story: I like a dork. He's name is Freddie "Fredward" Benson. I've known him for like... 4 or 5 years. He's Carly's next door neighbor and our technical producer for iCarly. He's incredibly dork and techy, he's clumsy, has horrible come backs, horrible creative ideas, but whenever I enter a room and see him… I can't keep myself from smiling. I've always thought that Freddie was adorable, and as the years went by… Freddie got pretty darn hot. He's also mature, has a deep voice, and his body has shaped out nicely. Mama likey… But anyways, it seems like the more I'm with him the more I like him so much that I have this crazy obsession. I don't know if he likes me, he probably doesn't. He's always liked Carly; I've always figured that if he got a girlfriend he would be so nerdy and stupid that the girl would leave him. But now, he is so hot and not AS nerdy, I don't think any girl would. I need to tell him I like him, but he might lose consciousness because of all the times I've constantly caused him physical and emotional pain. I need him to know so badly but this is the only thing I'm really scared of.

….

Carly wanted to meet tonight for rehearsal so I walked up to the hallway of where Freddie and Carly lives. Butterflies started going every which was in my stomach. I got to see Freddie tonight! I opened the door and I saw Freddie and Carly in there. But NOT what I thought that'd be doing. They were both sitting on the couch, Carly had her arms wrapped around his neck, and they were kissing. My heart was ripped in two. Here's regret that there's no way I'll be able to un-do.


	2. Chapter 2: You HATE me?

_Finally decided to update this story. Since this is a short story, it will only have 5 chapters. This is the 2__nd__, so look forward to the next 3! A rough draft so please excuse my sloppy writing…:/ But anyways…Read and Review! I LOVE REVIEWS! Enjoy! _

"Holy crapping chizz!" Please excuse my language. Carly and Freddie immediately stopped kissing and jumped off the couch like they stepped on pins. "Sam!" they both exclaimed simultaneously.

"Sorry, " I scoffed, not really meaning it ", I thought we were rehearsing for iCarly not for a make out scene!"

"What's the big deal Sam? You don't even like Freddie!"

"Like me? She hates me!"

"I never said I hated you" in a small voice. "What?" Freddie asked. "How did this even happen?" I asked, not that I care. "Well Freddie and I were thinking of ideas for the web show…"

"What? I told you Freddie has _noooo_ imagination, you can't do ideas without me!"

"We weren't. He was just taking our ideas and trying to see how he could produce them"

"Oh"

"Anyways…" Freddie rolled his eyes; does he hate me that much? Here I am, having this crazy obsession and butterfly feeling for his good looks and friendly—or so I thought—personality and he's acting like I'm lower than a pile of cow chizz.

"Well we got distracted and started talking about this movie where these two people fall in love…" I grimaced from disgust. A chick flick, one of Carly's favorite probably. "And we started talking about all the things we has in common…"

"And we ended up kissing! You got a problem with that?" Freddie asked me. Tears swelled in my eyes, never in my life has Freddie treated me this bad. I can't be the perfect daughter for my mom, my career has no future due to my grades, I'm a lousy best friend, and now the only thing that I thought was worthwhile is just like everything else in my life. Gone. Maybe I should be gone too…

"Yeah…Yeah I do" I left. "Sam you can't leave!" Carly shouted. "We have to rehearse!" Freddie shouted. Whatever, Freddie doesn't care about me. He never has. He just cares about the web show, i_Carly_, Carly's web show. If I wasn't _her _famous co-host he would never associate with low-life people like me. I started to run down the stairs, I was so out of breath from 3 flights. I got 5 more flights to run down… I need to take a breather.

"Sam!" I hear Freddie's voice from a distance; probably running after me because Carly told him to. I started running again, running away from him.

"Sam I hear you running!" his footsteps got louder and he grabbed my shoulders, causing me to tumble down the stairs and my head hit the bottom of the fourth flight of stairs. I felt my forehead where I bumped it, I looked at my fingers. Blood. Uh…crap. Freddie came over to me and kneeled beside me. Like he thinks he's going to rescue me…after talking to me like that in there…I don't think so.

"What do you want Freddie? You treat me like stinking trash in there and push me down stairs and now you think you can say something and make it better?"

"Sam…I—"

"Shut up Freddie! I have the worst life ever and you're not making it better"

"Sam you have a great life"

"Oh yeah…my mom doesn't notice I'm alive, she compares my goody-goody sister to my life, I fail in everything, and the one friend I have—I'm not even a good friend to her… what do I have Freddie? Nothing"

"You have iCarly"

"Freddie I don't care about being internet fame. I just want a regular life. I want a life I won't regret. I want normal parents, normal grades, a normal sister, and to be a normal friend"

"Define normal Sam"

"I don't know…all I know is I just hate the way you talked to me…and now you come out here and think I'm going to go back?"

"Sam you're mean to me all the time"

"Yeah but I'm just joking. It's not real. This is. You hate me" I walk off with a bloody forehead, a broken heart, and a regretful life. "Sam! Sam I'm sorry!"

Yeah right. Sorry. You think I'm going to buy that crap?

"I'm sorry you didn't get higher than C-…" mom told me when I was in middle school.

"I'm sorry you couldn't come to my birthday…" Carly said when she turned 13.

"I'm sorry you couldn't come to private school…" Melanie snobbishly said to me as she left.

"I'm sorry you have to go to summer school. Again" Principal Franklin said last year.

"I'm sorry you're not like all the other girls. I just can't date a guy" Jared (some guy I went out with last week) told me.

"Sam! Sam I'm sorry!" Freddie just said 8 seconds ago. More like 'I'm sorry I don't love you. I love Carly more because she's prettier, sweeter, and smarter…and you're just a monster'

Why can't I be normal? I just want to be like all the other girls, like I told Freddie. I want a real house, not a piece of crap. I want married parents who have steady jobs with income and who loves me more than anything. I want to be equal to my sister. I want to feel like when Carly has a problem, I have all the advice and I want Freddie to love me like he loves Carly, I want an amazing boyfriend…someone like Freddie. But I can't have all that stuff; it's just a bunch of regrets. Man…I hate regretting. Just like I hate my life.


	3. Chapter 3: My Special Place

**(C) I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING RELATED TO ICARLY! ALL PROPERY GOES TO NICKELODEON, DAN SCHNEIDER, AND THE REST OF ITS RIGHTFUL OWNERS!**

_Thanks everyone for the reviews! Here is chapter three! Two more chapters and the short story will be finished. Also, please check out my other stories! iHave you needs 3 more reviews for Chapter 8 to post and I have some other pretty rocking stories for your Seddie crave to be satisfied! But anyway, here is chapter 3 on iRegret! This whole chapter is Sam's thoughts. Please read everything so you can understand what she is feeling(: please review! I love reviews!_

~ Chapter Three: My Special Place

I ran to a place where no one could find me; a place that only I know inside and out. I need to get away from the horror of Carly and Freddie together. Again.

I know this time its going to last. I just know it. I should have stopped it before it was too late. The last time Carly and Freddie broke up it's because—how awfully weird it is to say this—Freddie broke up with Carly.

I told Freddie she wasn't in love with him but of how he saved her life. Then Freddie told Carly if she's still in love with him after he gets out of the cast and the "hero" thing wears off…then they can. I was so glad Freddie broke up with Carly because of something I told him.

I knew that it was now or never. I knew as soon as Freddie was single I needed to jump in and show him what he's missed.

I was far away from Bushwell Plaza as the naked eye could see. I entered a place that only I know inside and out: Seattle Community Park. I've told Freddie numerous times that I hate this place because it's for people. I told him I hate people, kids, and that's all a park is full of. I only told Freddie that because I go to this place to get away from the world. I know a community park isn't a great place for that but it is for me.

There's a trail for walking that NO ONE ever goes on, even though it's open to the whole community. When I want to get away from the world, I go to that trail and I sit on this rock that's half-way through the trail. The rock is placed by a bubbling stream that's so peaceful even a serial killer would have to stop and listen to it.

I never want Freddie to find out about my special place on the trail. He might go there looking for me, or Carly or Spencer, or anybody could. But I don't want anyone to go there looking for me. I don't want anyone to find out about my special place.

Because then it won't be mine anymore, they'll know exactly where I go then and I won't be able to get away from the world and have peace. I'll have to find a new special place and I don't want to, I love this special place.

I entered the "Seattle Community Park" and I made my way to the walking trail. As usual no one was near or around it, I walked about a mile until I came to my special place I then sat on the rock and listened to the stream. Ah… it was like a beautiful melody to my ears. Every time I go through struggle, stress, or problems…I long to hear this sound.

There is no other sound like this stream…I love this stream. After I hear the sound and my stress slowly melts away, then I can empty out my thoughts and organize them better. Freddie. Freddie. Freddie. Freddie and Carly. Not Freddie and me. There will never be a Freddie and me. Freddie. Freddie. Freddie. I screwed it up with Freddie. Regrets. Regrets. Freddie. Freddie.

That's all I could hear in my mind. Those were the thoughts running through my head. I regret not telling Freddie that I secretly like—and possibly love—him. There will never be another guy like Freddie. Every person on this earth is different, no one is the same. So there will never be another Freddie. I missed my chance completely.

Since day 1 Freddie has had a tremendous puppy-dog love for Carly. Carly always gets the guys she wants so there's no way they will break up. Freddie is in love with her and she always gets what she wants. Of course she does! She's beautiful, sweet, smart, friendly, stylish, an amazing friend, and she loves kids. Who would dare choose me over her? I don't blame Freddie for choosing her. I'm the complete opposite of her.

I should have showed Freddie how much I could have loved him; I could love him so much better than her! After all, she always tells Freddie she doesn't think of him that way when I do. Freddie loves her but she doesn't love him. Freddie doesn't love me but I love him. This love triangle is completely messed up. But then again… if she didn't love Freddie then why did she just kiss him? Why are they together again? I will never figure out Carly.

I might as well be happy for them as much as I never will. I never will know what Freddie's lips will taste like on mine again. My first kiss was with Freddie Benson and I always thought of what it would be like if I had more. If his lips could wrap around mine, if his tongue could be inside me mouth while his strong arms hugged me into a tight, embracing, squeeze. A tear almost went down my face as I pictured a dream of Freddie and me. A dream that will never come true thanks to the new couple.

I took my shoes off and dipped my feet in the cool, moving water. I hung my head back and sighed. You really screwed this up Puckett. Everybody says that love is the most important thing in the world. So if I have regrets about not amounting up to my sister, or being an amazing friend, or doing well in school… at least I could have had the remarkable Benson to myself. But I failed at that too.

"_Carly will never love you" _I always tried to tell Freddie so he could forget about her and maybe focus his interest on the other girl. Me.

In the midst of my desperate love-stricken thoughts that will eventually turn into depression, I felt a tap on my shoulder. That tap literally scared the chizz out of me. I almost peed in my pants. How dare someone find my special place? It better be someone that I don't know! I turned around to see who it was…


	4. AUTHORS NOTE! PLEASE READ!

Hello readers,

I am so sorry for the late reply. I will try to update Crazy Like Love, Rain Is A Good Thing. A Seddie Story, iRegret, and iHave You. Life is crazy with my new job, my studies, and boyfriend. I'm writing down plots for the next chapters and will try to update as soon as possible. So in case you haven't read any of the stories I listed, or any of my one shots... please read them! I will update them all ASAP. Talk with you all soon!:)

~Krysta(seddielove101)


	5. Chapter 4: My Visitor

**(C) I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING RELATED TO ICARLY OR IT'S CHARACTERS! ALL PROPERTY GOES TO DAN SCHNEIDER, NICKELODEON, AND THE REST OF IT'S RIGHTFUL OWNERS!**

_I finally finished this chapter. Remember, this is a short story, so the next chapter will be the final. If you haven't read my other one-shots or stories... please check them out! Because they will be updated as soon as possible! I LOVE REVIEWS! R&R! Enjoy_

iRegret/Chapter 4: My Visitor

I looked up to see who poked my shoulder. I gasped, this was no stranger. I just had a conversation with this nub-jerk face a few minutes ago. I am staring into the face of hatred. I lowered my head in shame. This is the one place I have to get away from my sucky life and thanks to my luck, the nerd just has to come and mess it up. Now I don't have this perfect place anymore. Thanks a lot.

"Hey" he said uncomfortably, avoiding eye-contact with me. "Just leave. I don't need you here to make me follow your orders and go back to Carly's" I avoided eye-contact with him too. I instead looked at my feet dangle in the water.

"I'm not going to try and make you do anything" Freddie said. Huh, yeah right. "Then why are you here?"

"I wanted to find you. Is that okay?" Freddie asked patiently. I said nothing in reply. I don't deal with sarcastic, full of crap nerds. Instead of rising up an argument about me not replying to his question, he said "Mind if I sit?" pointing to the boulder beside me.

I shrugged, "Might as well. You already ruined my place"

"Um... your place?" Freddie asked as he slowly sat down beside me It seems that no matter how rude, sarcastic, or challenging I was to him he stayed patient and calm with me, trying to avoid any kind of argument.

"Yeah. I have a place. I have a place where I go that no one else in the world goes. I come here to get away from drama people like you and Carly cause. I have a place and I have feelings. That must be a real amazement to you"

"Sam, I know you have feelings. Everybody does." he said matter-of-factly. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw he had some guts to try and make eye-contact with me. I, on the other hand, still avoiding looking into the face of hatred. "Yeah _people_ do and according to you I'm not a person"

"Okay... then what do you think I think of you? an animal?"

"More like the bottom of the food chain" I vaguely kicked in the stream, forming small bubbles. "Sam just because I treated you that way in-front of Carly doesn't mean that's how I wanted to"

"What are you saying Benson? That was just an act?" I finally looked at him.

"Well what do you think I was supposed to do? Ever since I've known Carly I wanted her. I finally had her. For real. And suddenly I don't care. Then you walk in seeing us and Carly thinks that I'm in love with her. I mean what was I supposed to say?"

"The truth" I quickly said. If what he said in the Shay's apartment wasn't the truth? Then what is? Freddie looked at me like I had two heads.

"Oh yeah. In front of her? I'm just supposed to go out and say that I'm in.."

"You're in what?" I quickly replied. I caught him off guard he pushed away from me a little, looking nervous. "I'm...I'm uh... never mind there's no way I can say it. You obviously hate me and... it's the wrong time and..."

"Tell me the truth. For once" I stared into his scared eyes. I know I'm a monstrous person but I don't mean to be. I wish he wasn't scared of me... if he has feelings for me, the same feelings I have for him, I'd love to hear him say it to me.

He sighed and looked at his feet. Yet again, avoiding eye-contact with me as he became uncomfortable again. Is he in love with me? I can't believe this. Maybe he is.

"Okay I.. I can't pretend that our first kiss was just to get over with. I know it was supposed to be like that but... when I kissed you compared to kissing Carly... it's like... the word kiss means two totally different things"

"Like..." Come on Freddie, give me something to work with.

"Well with Carly it's just like you know... physical stuff but with you it was..." Freddie looked at me eyes and hesitated. "What?" I practically screeched in his ear. Tell me boy! Tell me if you loved kissing me or hated it to the core!

"Real" he replied in a tiny voice.

"Real?"

"Yeah. Like a real, romantic, kiss. There wasn't much to it but it was sweet and tasteful and it felt so..." I couldn't help myself but I shutted Freddie up by capturing his lips with mine. This time.. neither of our eyes were open. This kiss actually had rhythm and it defines everything Freddie just said: Sweet, tasteful, and it feels so... so what?

I stopped kissing him to take a breath. "How did it feel?"

"Right" Freddie bluntly stated. Right? Wow, it feels right to him kissing me?

"I may get slapped or kicked or punched or get tied to the school's flag pole but... I think I may be in love with you Sam" he said.

Whoa. That's something that may not be a total regret.


End file.
